Which came first? The chicken or the egg? According to The Second Book of General Ignorance, it was the egg. Well, duh!
But which one is the egg and which one is the chicken? Are these feelings of insecurity caused by depression, or am I depressed because I've always been a little insecure.
It's been a long year. It's been exactly one year. And it's been a horrid year of unbroken depression. At the end of it, I find myself, crippled, unable to take on even the simplest of tasks without straining myself, second guessing my beliefs and finally acknowledging the fact that I seem to have lost all direction. Useless, is the word I'm beginning to associate the most with myself.
I need to know which came first. If insecurity is the egg that hatched the depression, well I need to make myself useful, build a little self-confidence, the onus is on me. If it's depression,I can wallow some more and pray that the medication works.
I hope it's depression. I have more faith in meds than me.
26 November 2010
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2 comments:
*successfully fights strong urge to offer unsolicited, highly obvious advice*
may the force be with you.
:)
I might be wrong, but I don't think it's the insecurity that hatched the depression - your writing is reflective of a confident inner self - I don't think one's literary musings can be so far removed from how one feels about oneself.Pardon me if I sound unapologetically intrusive here.I've been following your blog , and I've liked it - in no way is this observation meant to be an unwelcome remark.Do keep writing.If not for yourself , then for the ones who follow your work.
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