Being good versus being nice is a matter of definition, if you define good as being good hearted and nice as being superficial, then I’d rather be good than nice. But if good means being a sanctimonious know-it-all and nice means having genuine feelings for others, than it’s better to be nice.
I was good for a very long time, I also didn’t have many friends, because I decided that part of being good meant having only friends who were good and, and I could find no one who met my high standards of goodness. I was good in the worst way possible, I was a pious priss (still am). I am trying to learn to be nice, to have friends, to see their point of view. It’s hard.
There is an argument floating around doublex, attacking teachers who encourage and promote “niceness” amongst students as opposed to (and thus preventing them from) thinking about deeper moral issues and serious self introspection. In my very, very humble opinion, I’d rather be nice, and have friends, the only thing, deep introspection and thinking have ever given me is a headache. It’s not like I’d get along with a bunch of people thinking about "deep moral issues", if everyone thinks about “moral issues”, everyone will also fight over the moral issues and their take on it. Simpler to be nice, get along and eat chocolate ice-cream while watching chick-flicks.
Today, has not been a good day, I have burst out laughing in the middle of one class trying to be nice, screamed in the next trying to be good, and frankly my dear, I couldn’t give a damn. I haven’t been good and I haven’t been nice. Maybe it’s time to get back on my meds again. Maybe it’s time to apologise. Maybe its time to cut down on the crazy.
I was good for a very long time, I also didn’t have many friends, because I decided that part of being good meant having only friends who were good and, and I could find no one who met my high standards of goodness. I was good in the worst way possible, I was a pious priss (still am). I am trying to learn to be nice, to have friends, to see their point of view. It’s hard.
There is an argument floating around doublex, attacking teachers who encourage and promote “niceness” amongst students as opposed to (and thus preventing them from) thinking about deeper moral issues and serious self introspection. In my very, very humble opinion, I’d rather be nice, and have friends, the only thing, deep introspection and thinking have ever given me is a headache. It’s not like I’d get along with a bunch of people thinking about "deep moral issues", if everyone thinks about “moral issues”, everyone will also fight over the moral issues and their take on it. Simpler to be nice, get along and eat chocolate ice-cream while watching chick-flicks.
Today, has not been a good day, I have burst out laughing in the middle of one class trying to be nice, screamed in the next trying to be good, and frankly my dear, I couldn’t give a damn. I haven’t been good and I haven’t been nice. Maybe it’s time to get back on my meds again. Maybe it’s time to apologise. Maybe its time to cut down on the crazy.
(The title isn't a rhetorical question by the way.)
8 comments:
sometimes, and i say this because it's happened to me, being nice means you get mistaken for a dumbfuck who'll take a pot load of shit. now, can you be nice if they stop being reasonable?
@ kedar, too oblivious to know and read other people true intentions, which means either I go through life trusting people or being wary of them, I picked the former (it's nicer) if people think Im a dumbfuck who'll take a pot load of shit, and try to take adavantage of that, they'll be surprised, unpleasantly so. if they're just thinking it, what the hey.... I don't care what they think (not that I'd be able to figure out what they're thinking/talking about in any case.... one of the benefits(?) of being oblivious).
Sometimes you can't help being nice or being good. You try hard to be bad, but what to do?
:)
I'm sincerely sorry that my comment is longer than your blogpost. Do tell me if that's annoying.
Being good versus being nice is a matter of definition.
Being good - "I wont cheat in the exams coz it is not fair on the kid who had a cold and a fever but still slogged even though he hates mugging up stuff for stupid exams as much as i do"
Being nice - "I remember how helpless I felt in the exam hall when I thought I was going to flunk. Why would I not want to help these nice people around me who might be feeling as helpless, for all i know. And all these exams are so useless and mind-numbing anyways; they dont have any real value. I just hate the whole system that places such importance on them. And hey... whats that shiny thing over there..."
These aren't my definitions of 'good' and 'nice', but, to me, an example of a case where 'being good' and 'being nice' means two separate things, and both have merit. I think many times being good and being nice mean the same thing too. ("having genuine feelings for others")
But being good, especially being good all the time, is definitely a lot harder. Being good means standing up for the underdog even though you know you'll lose; it means 'playing by the rules when the rules favour the cheaters' (Fu-zu Jen); at times taking blame for something you didn't do, at others not taking credit for something you did; it means braving all detriment to do what's right. But maybe there is such a thing as having gone too far, if you yourself feel like a 'sanctimonious know-it-all'.
To take a shot at answering your question, despite not having the definitions in order, - being good is a necessity. You dare not not be good. Be not good when your conscience tells you to be good, and it may haunt you for life. Its a necessity, even if it means being labeled a pious priss or whatever. Being nice is just something you do when you are not restricted by rule 1.
"I’d rather be nice, and have friends, the only thing, deep introspection and thinking have ever given me is a headache."
see now that's not true. Being good has given me all this fake sense of moral superiority. And like Justice Art Vandelay said, "What am I, if not my fake sense of moral superiority". I may have made that last part up.
And now for my blonde-caricature impression, "The title isn't a rhetorical question means you want people to answer it, right?"
@ John Doh, being nice, means I ignore all those people feeling helpless around me and give the test to the best of my abilities, being good means I refuse to answer the test, unless the teacher cracks down on all the cheaters, it means putting my hand up and telling the teacher that unless he can assure me of a cheat free scenario I will not answer his test and refuse to accept the 0 either. (I have so wanted to do this, so many times, it's like being good and horrid at the same time ;P )
Fake sense of moral superiority, snactimonious know it all, what's the difference?
but you're right, be not good when your conscience tells you to and you're screwed!
@ Banno,your one line, opens up a whole new can of worms... (or substitute worms for something nice.) Thinking furiously about it, hopefuly I'll be able to articulate what I'm thinking a bit later. But point taken and its making me smile.
and for all the bleach blonde readers of my blog, yes, I want answers.
P.S. Political Correctness Note, Being blonde has nothing to do with brain, its just that I couldn't resist the aliteration in Bleach Blonde Blog Readers. :D
follow the principle followed in collage, "kisi ke baap mat bano aur kisi ko baap mat banao"
bleach blonde blogger wants to know what harsh means.... are you speaking literally or metaphorically?
nice seems to follow a system.
good seems to recognise a system for what it is.
i'd rather be good.
because understanding what something is, means we can change it.
and we could all do with a little change.
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